I’ve made a commitment to do more cardio in my workouts so I’ve been riding the bike and walking on the treadmill. I enjoy  salsa dancing as a form of exercise and fellowship.  If  I could dance salsa all the time that would be great. I am committed to do more cardio in other ways so that means I need a little help to keep me pumped up. I was listening to one of my workout playlists which consists of 11 songs.

A few of the lyrics stuck in my mind as I was walking on the treadmill.  I love music and movies as great teaching tools and reminders of life lessons. Songwriters are artists and often say things more eloquently than we can through their expressions of songand art. A few excerpts from these songs are below – they are great reminders of things about life- these are a few wonderful reminders of  knowing who you are, being comfortable with who you are and being hopeful.

Who are you? are you really a gem – then don’t be a hard rock and pretend to be someone you aren’t

Lauren Hill’s -  Doo Wap Song -”That Thing Called Love” – for the girls – “don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem. Respect is just the minimum.” For the guys – “How you gonna win when you ain’t right within…come again.”

Are you comfortable in your own skin?
Mary J. Blige’s – “Work That” -
“Let em get mad
They gonna hate anyway
Don’t you get that?
Doesn’t matter if you’re going on with their plan
They’ll never be happy
Cause they’re not happy with themselves “

What are you hopeful about?

India Arie’s – “There’s Hope”

“There’s hope.
It doesn’t cost a thing to smile.
You don’t have to pay to laugh.
You better thank God for that.”

Music changes your brain chemistry and helps when you exercise.  One of my workout playlists is below:

Whatta Man- Salt & Pepa
 I Am Not my Hair- India Arie
We B. Doing it -Quincy Jones
Georgy Porgy- Eric Benet
There’s Hope – India Arie
Doo Woop(That Thing) – Lauren Hill
Bring it On – Seal
Hit the Road Jack- Ray Charles
Shoop- Salt & Pepa
Just Fine- Mary J. Blige
If That was your Boyfriend – Michelle Ndegeocello.

Let me know any lyrics that resonate with you by leaving a comment below.

Barbardos- June 2008

 Greetings,

How are you treating life these days? Yes, that’s right. Instead of saying, “How are you doing? Or How’s life? I started asking people, “How are you treating life?” Hmmm…now that’s different right? It makes you think about what YOU are doing in your life. A dog is a dog. A cat is a cat. As human beings we have the power of choice. We often forget that we have the ability to fully engage in life or to simply live our lives on auto pilot. To truly LIVE Life is a choice. Making specific and conscious choices is what I call, “Living by Design.”

1999, I wrote my book, Why Struggle? Life is too short to wear tight shoes as a mini compendium of ideas, thoughts, philosophies and tips for helping me manage life’s unpredictable changes and to help me learn to Live by Design. Around that same time I started dabbling with meditation and relaxation techniques but I didn’t quite dedicate myself to the practice.

Being a student of life and growth, I decided I would give meditation a try, why not? Sitting and being still was very challenging at first- now, I don’t start my day without at least 600 seconds (10 minutes) of silence or meditation. A few months ago I released my meditation cd, Be Still: Learn to Meditate in 10 Minutes a Day  and I have been truly honored by the positive responses.

Daily we brush our teeth, shower and prepare ourselves to go out into the world. Meditation is mental hygiene. It is one way to prepare our mind for our day. Meditation provides mental clarity. Consistently meditating as little as 3 minutes a day ensures more focus, greater clarity and less stress. At work or in our careers we train ourselves about things we don’t know. Why not train your mind to manage your thoughts and emotions more effectively? Why not use this amazing tool to create what you want?

Do you have 600 seconds a day that you can devote to yourself? Don’t you deserve 10 minutes a day to be with yourself? In less than 10 minutes a day you can start making changes in your life that will impact every choice you make with more awareness and clarity.I’m offering several specials on my website, www.dontstress.net, for my book and cd.

ONLINE Special Pricing – available at www.dontstress.net.

Be Still CD – $15.00 (regular price- $16.95)
Be Still CD Special – 3 CD’S for $45.00
Be Still MP3 – Download Available immediately for only $13.00
Why Struggle? Book – 1 for $9.95
Why Struggle? Book Special – 3 for $25.00
Don’t Stress Special – 1 book + 1 CD – $24.95

Take a 5 minute break…Listen to a sample meditation from Be Still:Learn to Meditate in 10 Minutes a Day
Please take five minutes for yourself and be still, get clear so you can choose well. You can listen to a five minute sample from the CD several ways:

1. Click this link to listen through streaming: http://www.byoaudio.com/play/WdX5zMwx
2. View relaxing images and listen at You Tube. (be sure to leave a comment)
3. Visit my website, www.dontstress.net and listen to samples.

Please share this email with your friends, family, colleagues or organizations.  If you are interested in mini-workshops, group sessions or book clubs, email me at barbara@dontstress.net.

Remember to take the time to be still, get clear and choose well. Create a the day YOU want to live.

You are Loved!

What do you think about most of the time? Are your thoughts positive, negative, neutral?When something doesn’t go the way you want, what is your first thought? Our thoughts are constantly running around in our minds. Sometimes we forget that we can manage our thoughts. What we focus on expands in our lives. When we learn how to shift our focus from what we don’t want to what we do want, miracles happen.

Learning to use affirmations is one way to shift your focus from what you “don’t” want to what you “do” want.  Affirmations are positive statements of truth and change. An affirmation can reflect how you truly feel about yourself, “I am unique.” Affirmations can also help you move to where you want to be, “I relax and allow my inner spirit to guide my life.”

Your subconscious mind is like a video recorder that never stops running, it picks up sounds, ideas, thoughts, and feelings. Whether you believe them or not, affirmations make an impact on your subconscious mind.  These statements help you train and focus on what you “truly” want in your life. When you realize the power that you have to manage your thoughts and emotions you move into a new understanding of how to truly engage with life.

I recommend you think, write and say affirmations to continue to impress your subconsciousmind. You can think them throughout your day and definitely focus on them whenever you find yourself feeling stressed, anxious, depressed or having feelings that are not positive. Here are a few of my favorites. Enjoy!

• I am a unique divine expression of love.
• I am available to receive more good than I have ever imagined.
• I am alive, alert, awake and enthusiastic!
• I believe my path is mine alone and I know that I am where I should be at this time, space and place.
• I relax and allow my inner spirit to guide my life.
• I design all areas of my life with ease and grace.
• I am grateful for all the teachers and lessons of my life.

When you find yourself focusing on what you don’t want – try one or all of these affirmations to jumpstart your thoughts back to where you truly want to be. Remember you have the power to create the life you want to live.

Let me know your thoughts by clicking the comment button, I’d like to know what you have to say.

NOTE: You may save this article, send it to a friend, or use it in your online publications, provided the above attribution paragraph remains with the article with at least one active link and you make no changes to the article or its title.

Life is Peaceful.

How are you feeling about the holiday season? Some people find this time of the year exciting and love the energy that it brings.  Other people find this time emotionally challenging due to many personal circumstances.  Take the time to check in with yourself to see how you are feeling these days. The holiday season is here and will come around every year at the same time. This is your opportunity to design the experience you want to live. Here are a few tips to consider as you decide how you want to create your holiday season:

Be Grateful. Take a moment to really take a serious look at where you are right now. Remember that the news is designed to provide updates on things that are not necessary positive. The media and people around us may paint a picture that may not apply to what is happening in your world. What are you tuning into these days?  How often are you tuning in? How are your emotions affected by what you listen to, who are you are around? There is always something to be grateful for: sight, touch, taste, hearing, talking, walking. Be creative and find something.

Be Engaged! Don’t you love technology? I do. The internet, cell phones and computers allow us to feel connected as often as we want to. We can email, instant message, and text message people any time we feel the urge. Take the time over the holidays to be more engaged in person with people and allow the technology to rest.  There is nothing more special than having heartfelt conversations and laughing and enjoying good company.  How can you connect more with the people you enjoy spending time with? Ask yourself, do I really need to have the cell phone on when were are together? Your family, friends, and people you are with will appreciate this simple gesture.

Be Thoughtful. Every moment you have a choice. Even when you don’t feel like you have a choice, you do. Take the time to pay attention to what you are feeling and how you are responding to people around you. Are you spending time with the people you really want to be with right now? If you are that is wonderful! If you aren’t, get clear about how you want to change that picture. Every moment is an opportunity to be mindful about the choices you make every day. When you decide what you want, move in the direction that will get you where you want to be. 

Remember that CALM and CHAOS come from the same place, your mind. ;-)  Be ever wonderful and make the choices that allow you to create the life you want to live!

Let me know your thoughts by clicking the comment button, I’d like to know what you have to say.

    

Take a moment to relax

How are you feeling these days? This weekend I had a Barbara weekend.  Barbara weekends consist of doing only what I want to do.  I don’t commit to anything and allow my days to unfold moment by moment. I love these weekends. Sometimes I disconnect and sometimes I stay connected.  This weekend, I stayed connected via the cell phone but did nothing on the computer.

I recently posted a comment to a blog comment from Tish about Obama using Twitter to market and campaign. Between the cell phone, instant messages, text messages and Twitter and Facebook, how did our parents do with out them? We are quite a busy group of people aren’t we? Whew! Being busy means being engaged in action. Being productive means yielding results, benefits or profits. We are busy but are we really productive?

I am truly grateful for being born in the 60’s.  I grew up having dinner at real table with my family, writing a list to go grocery shopping, and being able to learn to think critically without having to call someone on the cell phone to discuss every thing that crosses my mind.  I think that having a perspective of living in a time when we didn’t have answering machines, cell phones, instant message and such allows me to disconnect when needed. By the way, when was the last time you disconnected from all the technology? I have discovered that disengaging and disconnecting often leads to more productivity because our minds have the opportunity to relax and enjoy simple things.

Technology is absolutely wonderful. I have accounts with Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, WordPress and several other social networking groups. Some of my best friends and colleagues are on these networks and have helped me recognize the importance of truly being “connected” on the web. I have met great people through all of these groups and value the relationships and the people I have made and continue to create.

This quote from Albert Einstein resonates with me, “We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.”  With all these new ways to communicate, I wonder, “Are we really connecting with these tools and being productive, or are we simply engaging in action? Click the comments below and let me know your thoughts or experiences.

Have you ever needed to do something and lacked the motivation? I have struggled with this in the past and often in the present. I would start a project and in the middle of it I would find something more interesting to do and move on to it before I finished. My I (idea) to I (implementation) ratio was very low.  It was around 5:1. I needed help. I had to find a way to increase my I:I. I came up with the idea of having an AP™.

An AP™ is an accountability partner. The AP is who you report to about the status of your project, idea or task to be sure that you are held accountable.  Here’s my example: I needed to recreate my script for my meditation cd before I could record it in the studio. My AP for this project was Wendy Y. She is one of my regular AP’s so I called her and told her what I needed to do and by when. The role of the AP is simple and specific.

The AP needs to know two things; 1. What needs to be done and 2. When it needs to be done. When I started using an AP™ my ratio was much better, it was 2:1.

Why did I need an AP? I needed to be held accountable. I knew that I couldn’t depend on motivation and inspiration to get me through, I needed discipline and commitment.  Knowing I had to call Wendy Y on April 29th kept me focused and I was determined to call her and say, “Wendy Y, I finished my cd script early.”  And I did. I often complete things faster when I have an AP involved.Why does this strategy work? Often time we are more accountable to someone else than we are to themselves. The AP approach works very well for me and I encourage you to try it.

There are three easy steps, here’s what you do:
1.  Who – decide who will be your AP™.
2.  What – decide what you need to get done.
3.  When – tell your AP when you need to have your project/task completed- be realistic.

What happens if you don’t get your project/task done by the timeframe you desired? Let your AP know the new timeframe, if you are still interested in completed the project/task.If things have changed, you can always find another project/task. There is always something to be done.Your AP can be different people based on what you are trying to accomplish. If you are on a team with people, you may choose to pick someone involved on that team. An AP is a great way to develop and enhance discipline around specific projects and get things done more timely.

Let me your thoughts by clicking on the comments and leaving me your thoughts.

Every day we have opportunities to grow and create the lives we truly want. Each day we must truly venture to “live by design” in order to create a truly divine and magnificent life. Being responsible and accountable for the day we design and the energy we bring to everything requires that we live consciously aware of each moment and the choices that we make – for they will indeed have consequences.

 1.  Embrace change. A dog is a dog every day. A cat is a cat every day. As humans, we have the potential to change every second of every day. Life is beautiful. Life is wonderful. Life is filled with change. We are humans with the amazing ability to CHANGE, our minds, our will, our behaviors, any time. Learn to embrace change as a life partner and welcome opportunities to grow.

2.  Create your own standards. Why is the color blue called blue? Why isn’t the color blue called yellow? Someone defined the colors just as someone defined the holidays and any other point of reference. The reason we celebrate anything in life is because there was a standard set and people believed it. I believe every day is a new day and a new year. I don’t have to wait until January 1st to plan to make changes. Think about your life and redefine standards so they work for you and the life you want to design.  

3.  Balance Technology. Cell phones. Instant messaging. Text messaging. Computers. Technology has no discretion, humans do. We lived for hundreds of years without 24 hour, 365-day access to people. A ringing phone does not require a response. Take time to become aware of your habits and patterns.  Take the time to sit and talk to people in person and ENGAGE with them only. Turn off the technology. Make the effort to be present when you are with someone; turn the phone off or let voicemail do what it was designed to do, take a message.

4.  Say NO when you want to. We are adults, so we have to engage in adult behaviors. Repeat after me,“I am an adult and totally responsible for my life.” That’s it. Make choices for yourself and not for other people. When you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. An explanation is not required. People adjust over time as our behavior changes. No more excuses. No more doing things you really don’t want to do. Be polite when you tell people no. Take a big step to managing your time and life by making the choice to say no.

5.  Appreciate your time. Are you spending time with people you don’t want to? We have all probably done this at some time in life. Being with people who don’t nourish and encourage you is deteriorating your health. Ask yourself this question, “When I talk to _____, do I feel energetic or tired?” Instead of spending time with people who are sucking the life out of you, spend time with yourself.

Let me know your thoughts by clicking the comment button, I’d like to know what you have to say.

Do you believe that multitasking makes you more productive? I was thinking about this topic this morning as I walked my mother’s dog, Lacee while visiting in my hometown, Albany, GA.  Walking is a type of meditation that I enjoy practicing when I take the time. I usually walk strictly for exercise prior to a serious workout, so it was great to walk at a nice pace and enjoy nature.  Albany has beautiful trees, flowers and plants and the sounds of birds, crickets and nature always remind me of the joy of being alive and in the present moment.

Getting back on topic now. Multitasking provides the illusion of being more productive. Doing more than one thing at a time initially seems very productive until I really thought about what I was doing. Right now, I am typing this blog, listening to my mother and the tv is on in the background with the movie, Shopgirl playing. Oh, and I forgot, I just checked Google for thoughts on multitasking and found this blog, The Myth of Multitasking: How Doing it All Gets Nothing Done. Is that really productive?

Of course not, not really. However we convince ourselves that I can get some thing done or a few things done or maybe one thing done.One great sage, my mother, often says, “Focus, baby, don’t scatter your energy.” Great words from a wise woman.

Let me know your thoughts by clicking the comment button, I’d like to know what you have to say.

Sunset in Barbados – 6/8

Being Still in Barbados at Farley Hill – 6.08

     Meditation-Om. The sound of the word can create images of monks sitting crossed legged chanting words you don’t understand.  Or maybe people in flowing robes espousing words of universal love.  Forget your preconceived ideas of what you may think meditation is and focus on the results of regular practice. Take a moment to imagine a day that starts out peaceful and clear and well executed. Silence is a way to add to your spiritual bank account. Peace of mind, clarity and focus are some of the results of regular meditation.

     Meditation is the process of letting go of the thoughts in your mind so you can release and recharge. Meditation for me is the process of going inside to reconnect with myself. It allows me to let go. I have become more clear and focused and that allows me to make better choices.When meditation was first suggested to me it didn’t make sense.  Being still?  Are you kidding? What could I learn from silence? I was a talker. Who would I talk to? I enjoyed thought provoking conversations.  I didn’t get it at all. My connection with my inner spirit was robably there but it was temporarily disconnected due to lack of funds.  At 30 I had not learned that the currency required for my spiritual bank account was in the form of being still. I was being proactive by seeking out information from sources like people, books and classes.  I was not interested at all in being still.  Stillness didn’t seem like a way to learn anything.

     In 1995 I started dabbling with meditation a few times a week.  I didn’t want to commit to the practice.  I was afraid to be still. I was afraid of what I might find out about myself. Quiet Barbara scared me. I started meditating very slowly and with hesitation. I was still not convinced I would really benefit from silence. It took several years before I decided to create a daily spiritual practice that included some form of meditation.  I used a guided cassette daily in the morning and learned to be still.  When I decided to embrace meditation as a natural process for growth and development I began to understand the power of silence. I saw myself grow like a newly watered flower.

     Now, I won’t leave my house without my meditation time. If I am running late, I will be 5 minutes later.  Meditation recharges my internal batteries. Every morning I sit on my sofa, I close my eyes and breathe in and out and I sit in complete silence. In the stillness I have a reverence and an appreciation for my life.  I give thanks to The Creator for all people and experiences I have had and the ones I will create.  In the five to ten minutes of complete silence I allow my thoughts to do what they will, sometimes they tell me what I need to do, sometimes not. I allow my meditation time to develop as it will.

     My daily meditation practice reminds me that I have a lot more to learn about myself and life.  I have learned that I need to be still to get clear so I can choose well. After meditating my spiritual bank account is full and I am ready to create the day I want. Be Still: Yes, I must do that.  

Click here for to listen to a sample meditation from my upcoming CD, Be Still: Learn to Meditate in 10 Minutes a Day.

Share your thoughts or meditation practice below in the comments.

Be Still: Learn to Meditate in 10 Minutes a Day

It’s been a busy time since I got back from Barbados. I’ve been updating my website and getting the final cover design approved and it’s now at the press.  You can listen to a few samples on my website or if you want have a few images you can listen and see images on You tube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLGpFYWo7Is. My meditation cd is available at www.dontstress.net and also at www.learnoutloud.com (search on Be Still Meditation).  Thank you Leticia Owens of R’Tish Creations for the beautiful cover and Charlie Mystro of Y.U.C.A. Music group for the great hi-def audio recording.

I’ve been listening to a few audio programs in my LWD (Learn while driving) program.  I am almost done with Michael Beckwith’s Life Visioning – a phenomenal program for anyone who is interested in moving being mediocrity and living a life of excellence.  You can find out more about him at www.agapelive.com.
Michael says that “meditation is paying undistractable attention to the present moment. ” I wholeheartedly agree.

I also completed the audio program, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved by Matthew Kelly.  It was a wonderful program and the narration was absolutely flawlessly executed. 
Matthew says that our main purpose is to be the best version of ourselves.  Amen.

I remember reading somewhere that anything in nature that doesn’t grow dies. I believe that as humans we are here to grow and evolve. If you aren’t growing you are dying. Are you living on the surface of life or are you living with depth and feeling, tasting, and touching all the textures that come with the journey.

My question to you is… What are you reading, listening to or experiencing that is helping you grow?
Tell me in the comments and share this with your friends.